The start of the new year often heralds major life decisions, as evidenced by the spike in divorce applications on the first Monday of January – a date colloquially deemed ‘Divorce Day.’ James Brien, author of ‘The Mindful Divorce: How to Heal and be Happy after Separation’ and founder of Easy Online Divorce, said: “For many people the end of the year provides a chance to reflect and consider what they want in the future.
“If your home life is unhappy then January can be seen as an opportunity for a fresh start. I rarely see couples choosing to divorce on a whim but there are some key questions I think need to be considered before a decision is made.”
Among these essential considerations are whether issues within the relationship, ranging from infidelity to financial stresses, can actually be resolved. “Infidelity, financial stresses, growing apart, fading intimacy…there are many reasons why problems arise in a marriage,” said Mr Brien.
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“Whatever they may be, consider if they can be overcome. Have you made your feelings clear to your partner?” Brien underscores the common pitfall where communication falters and assumptions are made about mutual understanding without certainty.
Another crucial point he raises for those contemplating divorce is whether both parties are truly willing to work through identified issues, a necessary ingredient for reconciliation. Mr Brien, also the author of ‘The Real Man’s Guide to Divorce’, said: “Marriages take work and if you want to save it, then in most cases both people have to commit to making changes,” reports the Express. Here are some of the questions the expert says should be considered before opting for divorce.
Is marriage counselling beneficial?
Mr Brien suggests that when communication has deteriorated to such a degree, external assistance may be necessary. “If you want to make a marriage work but don’t know where to start, a counsellor or therapist can help.”
He adds, “While it might not fix everything, a professional should help you to find a way to communicate your problems more effectively with each other.”
How will we parent our children post-split?
If children are involved, it’s crucial to discuss the logistics. “After a split the children are often, rightly, the priority. Consider how this might look before you decide to part ways for good. Will one parent take sole custody? Would you share parental responsibilities? Will the children stay in the family home?
“It’s important to ask these questions early on so you understand how your life will look in the future.,” advises Mr Brien.
How can we ensure an amicable split?
While separation is always painful, it doesn’t have to ruin your life or leave you with a bitter ex-partner. “It is possible to lead a happy and healthy life after a divorce, but key to this is keeping things as amicable as possible from the start,” says Mr Brien.
“Be clear, open, honest and respectful of your partner’s feelings as well as your own.”
Are we ready for the financial impact?
The financial consequences of divorce can be significant. Mr Brien further explained: “Legal fees no longer need to cost a fortune – divorce can be done reasonably and easily online – but there are other considerations that need to be made such as dividing assets, shared debts and what to do with the family home.”
He highlighted that Easy Online Divorce is designed to lessen both the financial and emotional toll on families by assisting couples to save on their legal expenses.